The Incredible Sulk

After seeing Ironman, I knew Marvel would have a hard time following it with the Incredible Hulk.

So...what did Marvel learn after five years since their last Hulk movie? Um....nothing, really.

Zak Penn, who has given us such classics like Last Action Hero, X-Men: The Last Stand, Fantastic Four, and Elektra, has churned out a promising twist that lies dead in the water. The film's exposition is rushed through during the opening credits, which plants us right in media res as soon as the film is ready to go, (bravo.) But then the rest of the movie happens. The shamelessly flat and cliched script is a greater abomination than the Hulk's final opponent. Too much of the film is steeped in silent scenes and such brilliant dialog moments as...

Betty Ross: So, you have everything?
Banner: Yes.
Betty Ross: Okay. what?
Banner: Nothing.
Better Ross: Well, goodnight.
Banner: Yeah.

Come on, man! This is an example of how "less is more" isn't sometimes. This film offers a very simple argument over man's inner nature, power vs control, man vs monster, but we expected that...from the 1970's cartoons. And why was there so much rain? Why does it rain in every scene but NOBODY gets wet?

Hardcore Hulk fans will be pleased by several tiny bits of fan service, including cameos and classic lines, not the mention the badass level of smashing. Although, I feel ashamed for even thinking this, but I wish Michael Bay had been given this project, because then we would have seen ALL of New York explode beneath the verdant behemoth's footsteps.

Hulk runs into the deep dark ditch of being so dramatic that not even the Hulk can trudge through its self-loathing. Had it not been for Tim Blake Nelson's energetic performance, I would have thought the entire cast was directed to take botox and horse-tranquilizers. I saw more motivated acting in the Paris Hilton sex tape.

I will say, the Hulk himself is wonderfully animated, giving very human qualities that seem ripped right from Peter Jackson's King Kong. If you like smashing, there's plenty of that, including the best part of the movie: Hulk versus two "sonic cannons" which stun and stagger him, paralyzing him under a wall of screaming pain. The final fight gets a thumbs up, but I still prefer the three-way between Hulk, Doc Samson and Ghost Rider from the animated series. The action is decent, the settings are lavish and lust (going from Brazil to a New England university,) but the deadpan dialog ruins any chances of sympathizing with the film.

Normally, I would say take it back and do it again, but we already gave Marvel that chance. I say cut it loose now and do to Zak Penn what Bullseye did to Elektra before he releases Captain America, the Avengers and Spyhunters!

This is Neither the Time Nor the Cyber Place

After weeks of intensive juggling and long calls to tech support, I am proud to officially launch...

www.uncleyo.com

At long last, check out past shows, photo gallery, free tracks from the CD and upcoming show listings from your favorite geek-specific comedian.

And coming soon, Paypal's gonna hook y'all up with "They Never Told Me Not To," my debut CD, by making it possible to buy online.

Well, now that the easy part's done, get ready for the summer anime convention season:

AnimeNEXT June 20th-22nd at Secaucus NJ
Connecticon August 1st-3rd at Hardford Connecticut
Otakon August 8th-10th at Baltimore, Maryland

And not to worry, I'll be back to anime reviews soon as we get back from the family cruise. Expect write-ups on....
The Skull Man (2007)
Paradise Kiss (2005)
Darker Than Black (2007)
Black Lagoon (2007)

Hang tight, guys, it's gonna be a Hellsing of a ride. (puns 4ever).